Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
