Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
