Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
