i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
