He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
