At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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