i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
