Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I want her autograph on my taint
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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