Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't turn off my feet"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
