and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
