I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
