her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
