So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish you could order shots online.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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