how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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