Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
