Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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