KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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