hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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