Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
