I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
