i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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