We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
