Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
