Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
