Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
