Your favorite bartender is back from prision
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
