Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
