piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
