Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
