That's when you crack a 10am beer
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
