I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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