I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
