I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
