he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
