Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
