too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
As shirtless as possible
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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