Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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