Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
