I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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