I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
false alarm, still single
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
