So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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