It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Damn victory sex feels great
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
