my phone needs a breathalizer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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