you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
