he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
