Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
