So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
