so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
40s are totally the cure
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
