Don't you send me to vm
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
