brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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