Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
