The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
