so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
