Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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