Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
