Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
