Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
